I’m going to start out the “Mom Life” section of the blog with a topic that most mothers have are afraid to talk about it….mom guilt.  I said in my blog intro that I was going to be unapologetically honest, and so I am going to talk about the topic that mom’s whisper about, afraid to be judged.

Mom guilt is a real thing.  When I refer to mom guilt, I’m talking about the feeling of guilt when it comes to not spending every second of the day with your baby, or spending money/resources on yourself every once and awhile.  Society has constructed the idea that once a woman has a child, she should give up her identity and needs in order to always be available.  Think about it, it is acceptable that a dad can play a round of golf or attend an evening game night with friends, but if a mom has lunch or pedicures with her friends, people will comment “how nice it is for your husband to babysit the kids while you go out”.  Ummm, it’s not “babysitting” when it is his child too.  I love my husband and my daughter and I love spending family time with them, but in order for this momma to be healthy both physically and emotionally, she needs a little time to herself.

Let me stop here to mention that not every situation is the same and the old saying that “it takes a village” really is true.  I am beyond thankful that my daughter’s grandmothers watch her while my husband and I work.  My mom takes the afternoon shift and really encouraged me to get active. ( Mentioned more in my post on Family Support)  One day, I came home earlier than usual and realized that my daughter loves a nice long afternoon nap.  She would not notice if I was sitting on the couch or elsewhere working out.  It was after the realization that I started working out with my trainer.

Now my trainer is about 20 minutes from work and about 40 minutes from my house, but also only 20 minutes from my mother’s house.  This made babysitting arrangements on days when I am not working easy as well.  As I settled into my “new” normal routine, I realized several things:

1. I was more efficient at work so that I could leave within an hour after school ending to drive to my workout.
2. I was tired and drained from the day when I arrived to workout, but the adrenaline from a good workout had me leaving energized for the evening.
3. The longer commute home from working out allowed me a scenic view through horse country and time to unwind and mentally process the day. Maybe even grab an iced coffee on occasion for the ride home.
4. When I arrived home, the baby was excited to great me and I was ready to be emotionally available to my family.
5. Lastly, I was a kinder, happier wife and mother who no longer took the stress of the day home. It is this last point that made me realize that the hour and a half that I carved into my day for myself was not only a gift for me, but a gift for my family.

Now, I know that not every family situation is the same. Not every mother has the same needs, but I do encourage you to advocate for your needs.  It took me a long time to take my mother up on her offer to stay longer so that I could work out.  Let people help you, no one can move a mountain alone. Also, don’t forget your partner, make sure that Dad also gets his time.  Trust me, my husband takes time to enjoy his hobbies too.