Social Media: Resources to Help Parents Avoid Cyber Bullying

My daughter is only a toddler, so I have not yet had to face the social media challenges that parents face when their child starts social media accounts.  However, as a middle school teacher, I probally see more challenges than some parents are aware of.  As a result I wanted to compile some resources to help parents navigate social media and avoid cyber bullying.

-Set Guidelines for Appropriate Use

Even if you forbid your child to have a social media account, chances are they still create one…only you are not aware.  Even if your child does not have a phone or you monitor the apps on your child’s phone, all it takes is for your child to borrow a friends phone to create an account in less than five minutes.  Yes, I have seen this done by students.  They will often come out and say “I borrow a friends phone to check my account”. Therefore, I highly suggest that the parents start the conversation and set appropriate use guidelines that are right for your household before your child feels the peer pressure to be like everyone else.

Listed below are some resources to start the appropriate use guideline conversation.

– https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/social-media-smarts.html

– https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/artificial-maturity/201803/parent-s-guide-social-media-use-kids

– https://mycrazygoodlife.com/social-media-guidelines/

-Talk about Social Media VS Reality

Social media truly creates a skewed view of reality. My middle schoolers think that everyone can be YouTube or Instagram famous and that you can own expensive things without hard work.  Social media supports this theory as people strive to get more expensive or exclusive items to showcase on social media.  There are also two types of people on social media, those that always complain about how bad life is or those that make every day seem so amazing that everyone envies them.  Both of these type of social media users are looking for a reaction from their friends or followers…and usually get it.  As adults we can often see this for what it is, but for an adolescent everything that they see or read is true.

Listed below are some resources to help you have a conversation with your child about the biases of social media.

– https://www.babble.com/tech/social-media-perception-reality/

– https://www.ajc.com/lifestyles/religion/teens-and-the-distorted-reality-social-media/XnWAduy5s1I3rUL1yH1ZZO/

-Talk about the danger of social media

Lastly, cyber bullying can be a real danger on social media.  Either from the viewpoint of a child using social media to damage the self-esteem or threaten another child or from the child being bullied. Cyber bullying can have ramifications at school or even legally with local law enforcement.  Having conversations about this issue in advance can help you guide your child away from cyber bullying.

Listed below are some resources to help you have a conversation with your child about cyber bullying

– https://www.stopbullying.gov/get-help-now/index.html

– https://www.stopbullying.gov/blog/2017/12/12/talking-to-your-kids-about-cyberbullying-part-1.html

– https://www.getcybersafe.gc.ca/cnt/blg/pst-20141031-en.aspx

If you have any useful resources or suggestions to help parents have conversations about social media, leave it in the comments below.

Some days I joke with my husband and my friend that I am glad that I grew up in an analog world.  Living in a rural area to a generation born in the 80’s, children of the 90’s, and entering adulthood in sync with the digital age.  I remember what it was like to go shopping with my family without a cell phone….you could just spend the day enjoying it rather than attached to an electronic leash.  That being said, I also enjoyed the freedom that technology brought as I entered college.  I met my husband at 19 and most of our early years involved talking for hours via aim or AOL Instant Messenger.  Facebook was in its infancy, the ipod played music and the iphone did not exist yet. The concept that someone could be bullied through the computer would have seemed crazy.

Today, that is not a crazy concept, but a problem so prevalent that the coined term “cyber bullying” is a household name.  As I watch how my students respond to the pressure of social media, first as a high school teacher and now as a middle school teacher, I am scared to think about how growing up in the shadow of social media will affect them as adults.  I was an honor roll student who didn’t get into that much trouble, but I shudder to think that if social media had been around when I was a teen then every bad decision, every mistake, every impulsive action or comment would be forever captured in my digital footprint.

Social issues regarding technology has become more wide-spread since the invention of social media. Even though social media is supposed to be used outside of school, the issues created by social media can very easily translate to a face to face issue in school. Feeling peer pressure, outcasted, or cyber bullied are all linked to social media. Cyber bullying is an example of a social issue that could also involve legal and ethical issues.

As a result, I am left with a few questions to explore.  Help me answer them in the comments below.

How can teachers prevent cyber bullying on social media? Can a teacher legally educate students on the dangers of cyber bullying? At what point should students be educated about their digital footprint and how it can affect their future.

As a parent, it may seem like your child is learning vastly different than you remember school. For the most part this is true due to the amount of technology and the role that technology plays in learning. You may be wondering, is all of the websites and digital programs that my child is using safe? How can I know if my child’s private information is released to outside sources?

These questions can be answered by understanding the federal law that protects your child’s private information and communicating with your child’s school about their digital use policies. I know that in my school district, parents are invited into the school at the beginning of the year to listen to a presentation about the laptop devices and programs that students will be using during the school year. Every parent should make arrangements to attend one of the many information sessions available. By attending the session, you will have the chance to read the school’s digital use policies, understand any liability on behalf of the parent, and ask any remaining questions that you may have. Addressing any concerns at the beginning of the school year will make transitioning your child into the school year with their digital device

What federal law protects my child’s privacy?

FERPA is the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act that exists to prevent schools from disclosing identifiable student information. This type of information could be the student’s name, address, school, social security number, etc. As a result, many school districts have limited the types of digital programs that can be required for a child to access for school. If the student has to create an account that would disclose personal information, that would violate FERPA. However, many school districts have created their own learning management systems that may be linked with other school invested digital resources such as Brain Pop, Discovery Ed, Vocab.com, etc that have a certain amount of student data to create accounts without violating FERPA. Parents in our district have to sign a waiver for their child to take a laptop device home, but even if parents do not sign the form students will have access to their laptop device in school.

What concerns do you as a parent have with regards to digital learning and privacy? Comment below to join the conversation.

Back in my day (did I just say that), but seriously back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s cell phones as a distraction in the classroom was just not a problem to even be mentioned.  I like to reminisce with my students some days and tell them that passing notes between classes and using lockers like mailboxes was how we communicated during the day.  My absolute worse fear was a teacher confiscating my notes from friends.  By the time I started driving in 2001, I was allowed to carry the “family” cell phone that could call and text (which I never did because a text was like $0.25 each).

Fast forward to today and almost all of my 7^th and 8^th grade students have some version of the latest smart phone. Even though it is school policy that phones are “off and away”, many students try to get around that rule. 

So listed below are the things that teachers wished parents knew about cell phones in school.

1. Teachers support and respect a parent’s right to give their child a phone for safety reasons as they walk through the neighborhood to go home, we just wish it didn’t come at the expense of your child’s attention in class.
2. There is no reason that your child cannot securely lock their cell phone up in their locker during school.
3. Please do not text or call your child when you know that they are in school.  If you need your to talk to your child, any parent can call the main office and get connected to their child. Every classroom has a phone that the office can call.
4. See #3.  If you call or text your child and a teacher issues a consequence for having a phone out during class, the child feels like an injustice has occurred because it should be ok to use a phone in class if it is to respond to a parent.
5. See #3 and #4, students will lie and always say that they are texting mom or dad….in reality it is likely someone else.
6. Social media becomes not only a distraction, but a source of conflict.  If students are monitoring their social media accounts during school, often an argument that starts in the world of social media becomes a real-world issue in school.
7. Selfies…..no student needs to be sneaking out a cell phone to take a picture of themselves or others in class.  Often another student in class will get upset thinking that a classmate is taking a picture or video of them to upload on social media.
8. Lastly, while all of this is going on your child’s teacher just wants to teach your child while helping them learn social skills to be successful in the future.

I want to hear from teachers and parents! What am I missing?  How is this debate viewed from the parent’s perspective?